I've already worked out today and did a little bit of cleaning on my room and around the house. Its been productive and satisfying. However I logged onto Facebook and saw a updated status from Angelica that her and Jasons wedding is in only a week. I have such complex feelings about this. I want them to be happy but at the same time I am am simply spiteful about it. It's hard to watch two people that really haven't worked much get so much for an occasion. I get a twang of jealousy, but I know my time will come and it will be entirely gorgeous. I have many different ideas for how it could go and that is what I truly need to focus on.
I dream of a simple wedding on a warm but not too warm day. I want to be in a flattering white dress. I sometimes picture a gazebo in a garden and other times a beach (maybe the sleeping bear dunes?). All I know is I want complete happiness. If anyone wants to be negative, I simply will make them leave. Then I am thinking a nice dinner at a restaurant where everyone can choose what they want rather than pick what we want for everyone. Especially since we will only have around 20 people - this should be doable.
So what I need to think about is that I have to be happy for them, eventually I will get my turn and it will be gorgeous and wonderful. And what it truly means is more than just a wedding. It means that I will have the man of my dreams right by my side every single day.
I mean who wouldnt want this guy?
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